Monday 6 September 2010

Attn: Katy Perry

Just as I was looking for a real reason (as if the latex dresses and complete overexposure were not enough) to be outwardly anti-Katy Perry, the woman herself has given me a beautiful gift in today's Daily Mail.  Take a look at this article and meet me back here...

I hope you were able to make it past the ridiculous gummy bear ring(s) to see where Ms Perry said "One of the first things I'll do [following her marriage to Russel Brand, one of the ugliest men on the planet] is apply for dual citizenship."  (Shame on Alan Carr for not slapping her across the face for such public stupidity).  She went on to say "I'm not too sure if I have to take a test as I've not had time to look into it."

Hate to break it to you Katy, but you should look into it and then apologize to the nation for assuming that just because you have married a British man that you are automatically granted all the rights of a natural born citizen.  Then apologize to all the American ex-pats who have to deal with people thinking we get a free ride and holding it against us.
For the record: you cannot apply for British citizenship upon marriage.  When you marry Russel (puke), you may apply for a spouse visa which will last 28 months just like mine.  Be sure to tell one of your minions to then apply on your behalf for another visa (which is currently known as Indefinite Leave to Remain) prior to the expiration of said spousal visa.   Not until you have had this ILR visa for at least one year can you then apply for citizenship, and yes, there is a test involved. 
Furthermore, you must have not spent more than 270 days outside the United Kingdom during the three-year period and no more than 90 days outside the UK in the last 12 months of the three-year period...  due to your busy performance schedule, it would appear that you may never be eligible for citizenship.  Isn't that a shame?

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