2012 Beyond the Queen Awards!

Disclaimer:  if you are one of those expats who refuses to admit that anything in the UK could ever be as good as anything in America, stop reading now.   You are ineligible to vote in the 2012 Beyond the Queen Awards.

I thought we could play a little game and hand out some awards to either the US option for things or the UK option for things.  Sorry for the terrible explaination, but you'll get it as we go along.

Dominos Pizza.  A favourite in both the US and the UK.  Same logo, same quick service.  Different menu items. And the nominees are....

• Brooklyn Style Pizza (US)

• Pasta Breadbowls (US)

• Deep Dish Pizza (US)

• Double Decadence Pizza (UK)

• Tandoori Hot toppings (UK)

• Veg-a-roma toppings (UK)

 

Pringles.  Same lovely crunchy snack, same for-some-reason-exciting-canister-rather-than-bag containment method, very different flavours.  And the nominees are...

• Mexican Layered Dip (US)

• Loaded Baked Potato (US)

• Honey Mustard (US)

• Thai Sweet Chili (UK)

• Prawn Cocktail (UK)

• Curry (UK)

Discount "designer" department store type places.   Same double X, different second letter. And the nominees are...

• TJ Maxx (US)

• TK Maxx (UK)

Ps.  It appears that TJ and TK are not actually acronyms, but just arbitrary letters. Can anyone verify?


Cider.  Maybe not a very popular drink in the US, but there are still options.  And the nominees are...

• Woodchuck (US)

• Ace (US)

• Aspall (UK)

• Stowford Press (UK)

TV show that follows around generally annoying/stupid/spoiled/makeup caked people and passes it off as "entertainment".  Do any of these really deserve an award?  With reservations, the nominees are...

• Whatever the latest Kardashian show is called (US)

• Whatever show Snookie is on (US)

• Real housewives of wherever (US)

• Desperate Scousewives (UK)

• Made in Chelsea (UK)

• The Only Way is Essex (UK)

Intensifying adverb.  When an adjective by itself just wont do.  And the nominees are...

• Totally  (US ex. "That is totally awesome")
• Well (UK ex "She is well fit")

Cast your votes below!

Fun with Conkers

I remember the day back in September 2009... I had just started my new job and was walking around the corner to the shop with my head down probably wondering that the hell I was doing here and if I'd ever remember to ask people for their surname rather than their last name when I noticed loads of spikey rounded "things" on the ground.  I wondered first if they were shells protecting a living thing like a tiny spikey shelled turtle, but when I gingerly picked one up, it was empty inside and I was perplexed. 

My spikey find
Image: mine

I took my spikey "thing" home to my husband and he infomed me it was the outside of a conker (a horse chestnut). They grow on trees and squirrels (and maybe birds?) eat the conker (its a seed really) inside and leave the spikey bits on the ground which is why I kept finding them empty...until today!

I have finally found a lovely whole conker in it's spikey shell!   Why is this exciting, you ask?  Because now I can play conkers!  Hooray! 

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention -  a conker is the seed inside a spikey shell that squirrels eat, but is also a game that children play with the seed part. To play conkers, you need a large whole conker (just the inside) which you will drill or skewer through. Then put a string through the hole and tie at the end creating a conker on a string.  Your opponent will have the same thing and one of you will hold your string at the top letting the conker dangle down while the other swings his and tries to smash yours to bits.   (just a side note, before this was properly explained to me, I thought kids played with conker still inside the spikey shell which I still think sounds a lot more exciting than the real version of the game!)

Conker swing in action
Image: Ashton Conker Club

Once you have defeated another conker, yours is upgraded to a one-er (one victory), and then the next win makes it a two-er and so on.  Also, if you beat another "ranked" conker, you take on their victories too - you keep your victories (two), take their victories (five) and then get a point for beating them (one) making you an eight-er.   Note: the conker adds up the victories, not the person!

Since my new conker hasn't beaten anyone, he's called a none-er.* Boo-hoo.  And here he is as found:

Conker hiding in his shell
Image: mine

Looks like a winner to me!  I peeled back the shell (its not really a shell since its quite soft, but I dont know what other word to use) to reveal this...

WTF mutated tiny twin testicular conkers?!  Those won't beat the kids on the playground!

Guess I'll keep looking.... My first game will have to wait.  I'll keep you posted.


*Regional verbage may vary

Pop Quiz Monday

Kim @ Pass The Potatoes tagged me for this project (doesnt that sound more grown up than "quiz" or "survey"?).   I realized I simply wasnt interesting enough to have entertaining answers for most of the questions, so I only answered one, but its a three parter!

oh but first the rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Paste these rules on your blog post.
3. Respond to the following prompts. (as I said, I only did one, but you can go to Kim's blog to see what the actual questions were supposed to be if you want to answer them)
4. Add a prompt of your own and answer it. ( I skipped this cause I'm a lazy cheater)
5. Tag a few other bloggers at the bottom of the post.
6. Leave "Tagged You" notices on their blog/Facebook.
7. Let the person who tagged you know when you've written the post.

Ok, now here we go...
------------------------------------------------------------
If you could’ve written any book, directed any movie, and composed any song, which three would you pick:

Book: I dont write books and would never have the attention span to do it, but if could choose one that I would have liked to have written, it would be Walden.  No, I dont want to live in a cabin in the woods, but I would love to be able to claim the beautiful passages in that book as my own.  Never read Henry David Thoreau?  Put down your Twilight and go read a real book right this instant!  That's an order!

Movie: Terminator 2 - I can recite this movie from start to finish.  Defintely one I could direct!

DR SILBERMAN:  (when asking Sarah to "remember" Judgement Day) I'm sure it feels very real to you
SARAH:  On August 29th 1997 its going to feel pretty fucking real to you too.  Anybody not wearing 2 million sunblock is gonna have a real bad day, get it?  God you think you're safe and alive?? You're already dead.  Him, you, you're dead already.  This whole place everything you see is gone.  You're the one living in a fucking dream Silberman cause I know it happens! It happens!

TERMINATOR (to John Connor): "I know now why you cry, but it is something I can never do"  

Ps.  have you seen John Connor lately??  What a shame

Song: Pearl Jam - Footsteps.  Easy one. The best song of all time -simple and understated, but so powerful.  I love it.


Maybe Laura and Michelle would like to have a go? 

Who's Coming For Dinner

Laura at Happy Homemaker UK posted a little game on her blog today asking what famous people you would invite to dinner. I've always struggled with this question, but I am giving it a shot today and limiting myself to living famous people.  Who wants a dead person at their table?  You'd have to struggle all evening to keep them up-right like in Weekend at Bernie's.

You can play along with Laura too by checking out her fantastic blog.

1. The "everything" one - Bill Clinton  (thats an easy one.  Bill is always invited to any event of mine)

2. The funny one - Karl Pilkington  (Seriously, if you have not seen any of An Idiot Abroad, stop what you are doing and watch an episode this instant)



3. The thought-provoking one - Peter Singer  (My idol.  The man who says everything I wish I could say when challenged to a debate with my Father-in-law)



The Lovely Betty White

 

4.The "because I couldnt have a dinner party with me and five men" one -  Betty White. (C'mon. Who wouldnt want to have Betty White at their dinner party? Imagine the stories she could tell.)



5. The wild card - Prince Phillip ( You never know what might come out of his mouth. To my American friends - he's the Queen's husband and always says the absolute most inappropriate things to pretty much everyone he meets. A must have at any dinner party.)